1

I turned thirty, and suddenly I was at that point in your life where you want to eat Fruity Pebbles. But you're concerned about the fiber content.  --Paul Provenza

2

There's one advantage to being 102. No peer pressure. --Dennis Wolfberg

3

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. --Bob Hope

4

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. --Robert Quillen

5

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. --George Burns

6

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."   --Claude D. Pepper

7

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.  --Bill Cosby

8

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  --Mark Twain

9

It takes a long time to become young.  --Pablo Picasso

10

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.  --Bob Hope

11

How young can you die of old age? --Steven Wright

12

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. --Jim Fiebig

13

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own. --Bette Midler

14

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.  --Proverb

15

You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.  --E.A. Gilliam

16

Oh, to be seventy again!  --Oliver Wendell Holmes JR, on his 87th birthday while watching a pretty girl

17

He was so old, he sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

18

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.  --Robert Benchley

19

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.  --Josh Billings

20

At my age flowers scare me.  --George Burns