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I can't believe we still have the Miss America pageant. This is America! Where we're not supposed to judge people based on how they look; we're supposed to judge people based on how much money they make.   --Heidi Joyce

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This look is one step away from a truck with a gun rack.  --Mark Mason on his hairstyle

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I can't stand makeup commercials. "Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?" No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?  --Heidi Joyce

4

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.  --John Ciardi

5

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.  --Mark Twain

6

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.  --Groucho Marx

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The art galleries of Paris contain the finest collection of frames I ever saw.  --Humphrey Davy

8

When having my portrait painted I don't want justice, I want mercy.  --Billy Hughes

9

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.  --Hedy Lamarr

10

Looks get you through the door, personality keeps you in the room.  --Shaina

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