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New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved.   --Johnny Carson

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It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.  --Dan Quayle

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New York is like living inside Stephen King's brain during an aneurysm.  --Kevin Rooney

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I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.  --Lenny Bruce

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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.  --Billy Connolly

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It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.  --Dan Quayle

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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.  --George Burns

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I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.  --Lenny Bruce

9

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.   --Fred Allen

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