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When I'm around hard-core computer geeks I wanna say, "Come outside, the graphics are great!"   --Matt Weinhold

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One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.  --Jack Handey

3

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.  --Seymoure Cray when he was informed that Apple had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

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Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

5

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --Rich Cook.

6

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.  --Dennis Ritchie

7

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. --Al Goodman

8

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.  --Eric Porterfield

9

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.  --Robert Orben

10

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.  --Robert X. Cringely

11

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.  --Pierre Gallois

12

The Internet is a gateway to get on the net.  --Bob Dole

13

The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. -- Edsgar Dijkstra

14

A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine.

15

The nice thing about Windows is, it doesn't just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press "OK" first.  --Arno Schaefer

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