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Every year at Christmastime a whole set of emotions sweeps over me -- emotions which probably go back to my childhood. The first emotion is wondering if I'm going to get any presents. Then it changes to "Hooray, I got some presents!" Then it changes to "Is that all the presents I got?"  --Jack Handey

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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for another job the next day.  --Phyllis Diller

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