1

The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law.   --Alex Levin

2

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.

3

I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons.  Many people, for example, could probably use a cheap ice pick.  --Jack Handey

4

If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law. ‑‑Roy Santoro

5

Electrocution--Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.

6

Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, 'Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that.'"   --Jack Handey

7

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.  --Norm Crosby

8

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money.  What's important is that you continue to do so.  --Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney

9

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.  --Mark Twain

10

Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.  --George Bernard Shaw

11

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.  --Patrick Murray

12

Where there is no patrol car, there is no speed limit.  --Peter Beckmann

13

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.  --David Dinkins, New York City Mayor

14

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.  --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

15

That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.  --A Congressional Candidate in Texas

16

Jack Warner has oilcloth pockets so he can steal soup.  --Wilson Mizner

17

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bast*rd. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.  --Harry S. Truman

18

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal.  --Richard Nixon

19

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night.  --Otto von Bismarck

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