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What exactly is viewer discretion? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on.   --George Carlin

2

Why would anyone want to read Soap Opera Digest? You're reading gossip about people who don't exist!  --Margot Black

3

I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. --Bruce Baum

4

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked Brightness, but it doesn't work.  --Gallagher

5

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.  ‑‑Frank Lloyd Wright

6

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness you send out for it.   --Rex Reed

7

When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.  --Jack Handey

8

Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them."

9

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. --Fred Allen

10

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?  --Paul Harvey

11

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.  --Groucho Marx

12

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.  --Johnny Carson

13

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.  --Bob Hope

14

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."

15

Television has raised writing to a new low.  --Samuel Goldwyn

16

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.  --Samuel Goldwyn

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