1

An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.  --Dan Rather

2

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.  --Lily Tomlin

3

I used to want to be a country-western singer, but I took a test and I had too much self-esteem.  --Brett Butler

4

The Annual Grammy Awards were held in New York City, and once again Radio City Music Hall was crammed with a cross-section of musical artists representing every stage of addiction and denial.  --Craig Kilborn

5

I don't know how real these rappers are keeping it from their $6 million homes in Beverly Hills, rapping about how rough it is. You write that in your Jacuzzi?  --Warren Hutcherson

6

Cats become the longest-running Broadway musical in history. And as a special treat, the cast was given tuna instead of dry food.  --David Letterman

7

You can tell he's really blind because he keeps missing a spot under his lip when he shaves.  On singer Ray Charles  --Keith Haessly

8

Whenever I see one of those ads where you get eight CDs for a penny, and then you have to pay another penny for the next CD, I immediately call up and demand to know why the last one is so expensive. Why does it cost eight times as much as the others?  --Bil Dwyer

9

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.  --Mark Twain

10

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day.  Later, he'll thank you.   --Jack Handey

11

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.  --Oliver Herford

12

I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.  --Kevin Gildea

13

The concert is a polite form of self induced torture.  --Henry Miller

14

Mick Jagger is about as sexy as a pissing toad.  --Truman Capote

15

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.  --Frank Zappa

16

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.  --Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962

17

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.  --Bill Cosby

18

19

20