1

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.  --Gerald Fold

2

My parents live in the Central time zone. I talk to my father once a week, but he still doesn't understand time zones. "Well, it's 8 o'clock here, so what is it, 6 o'clock there, huh, huh? It's summer here, so what is it, winter there? It's the Industrial Revolution here, so is it the Paleolithic era there?"  --Hugh Fink

3

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.   --Kid Quote

4

Did you know that Friday the 13th comes on a Tuesday this month?   --Churchy La Femme

5

The future is already here; it just isn't evenly distributed.  ‑‑ William Gibson

6

No matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going, "What do you mean there's no time? I had a microwave oven, Velcro sneakers, a clip-on tie."  Because when you waste time in life, they subtract it. Like if you saw all the Rocky movies, they deduct that.   --Jerry Seinfeld

7

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

8

"Time's fun when you're having flies."  -- Kermit the Frog

9

It gets late early out there.  --Yogi Berra

10

Last Christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment.  -- Robert Paul

11

The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time.  --Leo Kennedy

12

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.   --George Burns

13

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?  --George Carlin

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