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Do you feel the excitement of being a woman in the nineties? Maybe it's just static cling. --Rhonda Hansome

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I have to talk to my girlfriend every day on the phone. My husband says, "Why do you have to talk to her again today? You just talked to her yesterday. What could you possibly have to tell her?" "Well, for one thing, I have to tell her you just said that."  --Rita Rudner

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I was thrown out of Victoria's Secret --I gave the secret away, and they just frown on that.  --Paula Poundstone

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A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study, "Duh."  –Conan O'Brien

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I went shopping last week looking for feminine protection. I looked at all the products and I decided on a .38 revolver.  --Karen Ripley

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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.  –Dave Barry

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I am Woman. I am Invincible. I am Tired.

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There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and ONLY 8 who do.

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Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.  --Charlotte Whitton

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I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.  --Mel Gibson

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I'm not very feminine. Tried it once, threw my back out, had to give it up. --Stephanie Hodge

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