There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes".
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually...
I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor.
I eat Swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick."
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Referring to a glass of water: I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...(picks up his glass of water from the stool)...I like to live on the edge...
Once I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.