The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.

You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.

You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."

Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.

You hunt from your bedroom window.

Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.

You use a ten penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.

You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.

You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.

You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.

You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.

You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!

The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D.?" and you respond "About whut?"

You take a beer to a job interview.

You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.

When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.

You go to Goodwill to meet women.

You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!