Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air

Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks"

are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance

crews.

Problem

Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear

Solution

Evidence removed

Problem

Something loose in cockpit

Solution

Something tightened in cockpit

Problem

#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

Solution

#2 Propeller seepage normal

Problem

Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

Solution

Autoland not installed on this aircraft

Problem

Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

Solution

Almost replaced left inside main tire

Problem

IFF inoperative

Solution

IFF inoperative in OFF mode

Problem

Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

Solution

Cannot reproduce problem on ground

Problem

Dead bugs on windshield

Solution

Live bugs on order

Problem

DME volume unbelievably loud

Solution

Volume set to more believable level

Problem

Solution

Problem

Number three engine missing

Solution

Engine found on right wing after brief search