Year
Poem
Picture
1970
Blue Rollercoaster This was written when I was at Rio Lindo Academy and my poor mother and six brothers were living with the hell of a violent alcoholic stepfather
1973
Status Revenge Poverty brings with it the misery and unpleasantness of also being powerless. This was published in the Quicksilver booklet of art and poetry at Pacific Union College in 1973
1973
Sleeping Cat Nothing serious being expressed here --just having fun with some interesting imagery. This was published in the Quicksilver booklet of art and poetry at Pacific Union College in 1973
1973
Big Flower This was published in the Quicksilver booklet of art and poetry at Pacific Union College in 1973
1974
The Chocolate Hero This was published in my 1974 college yearbook at Pacific Union College. This drawing by Gustave Dore of Don Quixote is my favorite image ever
1979
Santa Claus is Coming My good friend Kevin Bianchi and I made up silly lyrics to this song while operating our printing presses during the 1979 Christmas season
1980
Baked Potato Nightmare I was thinking about imminent nuclear threat from Russia when I wrote this
1980
Captain Ahab This poem is about the awful pain that accompanies the breakup of a passionate relationship where you deeply loved the other person, but now they severely reject you
1980
Empty Cookie In the church I grew up in, everything had to have a deep spiritual meaning, and if it didn't --you shouldn't be doing it! I wrote this poem in protest to that strict upbringing, because I now believe that God is so wonderful, He is eager for us to enjoy many things simply for the pure pleasure of it all!
1983
Architectural Ignorance Sometimes a marriage can be so stressful that you aren't willing to work through the problems together and it ends in an ugly divorce. This poem is about the aftermath when a marriage dies. This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1984
1983
Five Excited Pigs Sometimes we enter into dangerous situations in a state of blind excitement, and afterwards there is a awful price to pay for our night of wild and hedonistic pleasure
1984
Binocular Sinners My church believes that not everyone is going to be saved, so this poem is about those who get left behind when Jesus comes to gather the saints to Himself. This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1984.
1985
1/64 Inch Pleasure This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1987. It is about Lingerie Warning: Sensual
1985
Cold Water Mysticism When I accepted Jesus as my savior in 1968, I was told about His wonderful love; that all my sins were forgiven and forgotten; that I was going to live in a perfect Heaven for eternity; that I was going to be resurrected from the dead with all my loved ones and we would all be given beautiful immortal bodies; and that I would live forever in a sweet and blissful state of LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It wasn't until AFTER I joined their church that they told me the dark side of Christianity: which is periodic suffering, vicious satanic attacks, powerful demonic assaults and intense persecution. And my loving God has given His permission for all those awful things to happen to me as I proceed through life
1985
Duck Lake Utah My beloved Sunday School teacher Jeff Sanders died from a massive stroke in Duck Lake, Utah in 1985. He was 32 years old and left behind a grieving wife and two little daughters
1985
Fresh Peach This poem was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1987 Warning: Sensual
1985
Slum Lord The church of my youth demanded that I strive continually for perfection. Since this is impossible, I soon lost my love and enthusiasm for religion around 1973. However, I believe humans are designed to have a living, breathing daily relationship with God, so once you turn away from Him, what is waiting for you is enticing sinful temptations that are satanic traps that bring horrifying consequences
1985
Stacked Up Like Boxes In 1984 my family moved to Riverside, California, so most of our possessions were in boxes. To keep them all organized, I created shelves in the garage, where they were all neatly stacked and carefully labeled. This was published in the UCR Mosaic magazine in 1986
1985
Tire Tracks This is about sexual addiction, where the addict is hyper-sexed and is in such a frenzied state of mind that he doesn't care who he harms as he races frantically to his own self-destruction Warning: Sensual
1986
Barren Landscape After having two kids, I decided to also get a vasectomy Warning: Bad word
1986
Emaciated Funeral Guardian I went to see Bill Baker who had been my college roommate in 1973, and he showed me some poems he had written that were "Alphabet Poems." I was intrigued so I went home and wrote this
1986
Footprints in the Sand, revisited I think just about everyone has heard the famous poem called "Footprints in the Sand." It is supposed to be very comforting --that even though he is invisible, He really was right there with you getting you through the worst times of your life. However, when I wrote this, I had been enduring years of one hellish difficulty and trial after another, and it never felt to me that I was getting any comfort from my invisible Jesus
1986
ONEONONEONONE I want it to be known that I am not always angry at God! This poem is one of my favorites, and is my love song to the God I love with everything that is within me. I am pretty sure that Father God likes this poem and that He has posted it on his refrigerator in Heaven
1987
The Reflecting Lake This is about the complexity of my own personality, and my unconscious self that frequently directs my responses and actions in ways that even I can't logically explain or understand. This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1988
1987
As You Go Gentle This was written as a memorial to my beloved and kind father Enoch Ray Borg who died of a heart attack a week before Christmas in 1968
1987
French Poodles From Hell This was written at a time in my life when I seemed to have to deal with a steady series of annoyances and daily irritations. This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1989
1987
How the Hell Are You This is about the empty and blasé greeting that people typically say to one another that really has no value at all, because in reality, people really DON'T want to know about the problems, difficulties and struggles that you are dealing with
1987
System Thighs Sorry --out of order
1988
Adding Machine Gentle Most people will give you something if you do a good deed of equal value in return. However, there are some people who are so filled with unconditional love for you, that even when you are doing hurtful and negative things to them, their love for you never ceases! This is a celebration and thanksgiving for those rare and wonderful people that have entered into my life. This was published in the UCR Mosaic book in 1992
1988
Internal Tornado When you ask God to come into your life, you can expect some pretty dramatic upheavals! Fortunately He does keep a very close eye on us, and even our worst sufferings He powerfully transforms into good and beneficial experiences that are designed to shape and mold us into stronger, better, balanced, loving and more compassionate and skillful individuals
1988
Japanese Train My Christian walk for many, many years seemed to be progressing at a snail's pace. This poem was my prayer to God for faster personal growth
1988
Sailing Into Serenity This poem is another expression that my Christian walk seemed to be pointless and making no progress whatsoever; even though I was going through the "approved" motions of going to church, paying tithe, reading my Bible and praying
1988
Scratched Record Results This poem is about my frustrated struggle to try and live the pure, holy Life that my perfect God requires of me
1991
Best Stressed Man My work life has a lot of very stressful moments
1991
Bring Your Own Tools I did not inherit the Home Handyman gene which every male apparently is expected to have. When it comes to home projects, I am a disaster no matter how fancy the tools are that I happen to be using. This was published in 1992 in the UCR Mosaic book.
1991
Divine Madness I had some really bizarre things happen to me in 1989 when I received the Holy Spirit in a very dramatic and physical way. Some very intense things happened to myself and my family during that year, and this poems is a reflection on how boring normal church life is compared to the startling events our God is willing for you to experience
1991
Fancied Up Gates of Death I often have a death wish because I have had to endure some pretty awful things throughout my life. However, death is not the magical panacea that people who commit suicide are expecting it to be. I don't pretend to know what happens to people who commit suicide on the other side of death, but I do know that people on this side of life who knew and cared for them suffer greatly
1991
God's Crayon As a Christian I don't seem to do a very good job witnessing for Jesus. This poem is a lament of my regular failures to manifest the true beauty and majesty of Christ to the people I come in contact with
1991
Holocaust Human Church can be absolutely brutal on people who don't measure up to their rigid and exacting standards. Warning, there is a lot of anger in here
1991
Liquid Jesus I won third place in 2002 at www.poetry.com They even sent me a nice bronze medallion to celebrate my achievement
1991
Samson Strength The story of Samson in the Bible is a shocking one, at how much enormous damage a person can do to themselves when they give in to the enticement of sexual sin
1992
Battlefield Idiot I believe there is a Great Controversy between Christ and satan, and I am just a puny little human caught in the middle of these colossal and frightening forces
1992
Blow Up Doll Church Sorry, this poem is out of order
1992
Cheap Cologne What we call love in America is just lust in a nice looking spray bottle
1992
Cruel Poetry Machine The poetic muse most often possesses me when I find my life in despicable pain or distress. However, my now ex-wife was always a Pollyanna who approached everything with confidence and enthusiasm, so she always considered my pessimism to be a severe defect of character and an over-reaction to Life's problems and struggles. This poem is about my attempt to understand whether I am being a crybaby in life, or whether my complaints were legitimate
1992
Doors of Hurt Around this time in my life I decided to write a little booklet about the problem of suffering, so I decided to start the book by listing many of the hardships that had occurred to me up to that point in my life. By the time I had listed out two page's worth, I hated my God. This poem was my crying out to my Creator to come to my rescue and bring me some relief
1992
Everyday Crucifixion The Apostle Paul says that even though I have become a Christian, I still have within me the sin-damaged nature that is selfish and rebellious. This poem is about many of the hellacious battles I have fought against myself, where it always felt that at least half of me experienced terrible loss
1992
Flopped Fish Sorry, this poem is out of order
1992
God's Gladiator I used to get Charisma magazine, which is filled with Christian advertisements about upcoming seminars promising to transform the attendees into awesome "Spiritual Champions" for God! They made it sound that the power of God was so mighty, that they would become unstoppable against the forces of darkness! However, this poem is about a much different reality
1992
Gumby Have you ever felt that circumstances in life were forcing you to "stretch" outside your comfort zone? I sure have, and on numerous occasions. Fortunately if you have the Holy Spirit actively living inside you, it gives you the ability to be flexible enough to not be harmed by all the tugging and pulling
1992
Hormone Meltdown Sorry, this poem is out of order
1992
Inner Riots It seems that my life has been filled with one conflict after another. The worst of them are on the inside, where the godly me is forced to fight against the sinful me! There appears to be a lifelong civil war in my own mind between my Christian nature that wants to do what is good and right, and my sin-damaged nature that is selfish, impatient and sick with the desire for revenge
1992
Mrs. Monster This is about the destructive power of lust, which is all pervasive in our American culture which has become super saturated with highly sexualized images everywhere you turn or look
1992
My Grapefruit Decision As a Christian I am supposed to live a clean, pure, holy lifestyle, but it has been my experience that is very HARD to do! Not only that, trying to obey all the required "dos and don'ts" can leave you with a bitter aftertaste in your puckered up mouth
1992
Neon Feelings When you go to church, most of the people wear nice looking masks and friendly smiles. And yet when you learn more about them on a personal level, you soon discover that almost all of them are dealing with some very heavy burdens, so their joy manifested at church is really as cold as neon
1992
Quicksand Wishes Life by 1992 seemed to be a steady sinking deeper and deeper into insurmountable problems and difficulties out of which there seemed to be no way of escape
1992
Solitary Confinement When I wrote this life had become too painful, so I retreated and isolated myself from everyone, but that isolation has an awful misery as well
1992
Video Whiskey I grew up in a very strict church where I wasn't supposed to go to movies or watch TV. By 1984 I left that belief system behind so I watched whatever I wanted to see, but that wasn't healthy either
1993
Beautiful Cruel Jezebel Sorry, this poem is out of order
1993
Bitter Kisses When this poem was written I reached a point where I hated church. As an adult I became increasingly aware at how toxic some of the legalistic beliefs were that had been shoved down my young throat
1993
Breathing in Locusts Kisses are supposed to be sweet and delightful, but not when you find yourself in a marital locust swarm and have swallowed some grasshoppers because the air is so thick with misery and pain
1993
Brittle Twig Other people may not think your life has no value, but our Creator God has a much different and far better perspective of our true and real value
1993
Burning Poodle If you take a look at this chronological list, I wrote a lot of really painful things in 1993 and 1994. This poem is about being forced to go through a difficult life you hate every single day because in reality, you don't have a choice! I would gladly have killed myself to escape all the misery, struggles and hard disappointments, but I have a healthy fear of God, and I knew He/She would be waiting for me on the other side of my death. I know that God is love, but I also know that He/She takes a very dim view when you throw back the precious gift of life you have been given as if it were toxic garbage
1993
Crotch TV Sorry, this poem is out of order
1993
Easter Egg Ambulance People tell me that no matter how bad a crisis might be in your life, that God is using your trauma to "build your character." It is reassuring to know that my Creator is capable of bringing good out of evil (Romans 8:28), but the hard reality is that pain is still pain!
1993
Electronic Hug The church of Jesus is supposed to be a place where every hurting human can receive the healing nurture of unconditional love. Sadly the church has only a very spotty record of doing this, and without the goodness of such overwhelming love, hungry and wounded hearts turn away and go "looking for love in all the wrong places"
1993
Eyelash When I was a senior in high school I met a young neighbor girl named Sherrie who was attractive and fun. I liked her and she liked me back, but I suffered from so much poor self-esteem that I missed all the positive clues and loving signals she was sending me. What could have been a wonderful relationship never materialized
1993
Exclamation Mark I was thinking about how punctuation marks can be used effectively to describe different states in a person's life, so this poem is the result of those musings
1993
Fallow Field Every seven years or so a wise farmer will not plant anything in a field, in order to replenish the vital nutrients in the soil. To all appearances the dirt field looks barren and worthless, but in reality some good things are taking place beneath the soil
1993
Fine Print Lover I am having some fun wordplay here
1993
Fire Clothes This is another one of my anguished poetic cries for my Loving God to manifest His/Her presence in my very distressed life
1993
Fireworks Mama All of us want to be loved, but that is what we rarely receive from one another because of the enormous damage that sin has done to us all
1993
Forest Fire Living The Bible compares lust to a deadly fire, and since America has now become a hyper-porn culture, you can't get very far without being exposed to some fairly explicit things. As a Christian pursuing holiness I am supposed to resistant these overtly sexual temptations, but it isn't easy living in a forest where all the trees around you are erupting continually into flames
1993
Fresh Enthusiasm My spiritual walk with God had ground to a halt and was now just the dreary, miserable experience of going to a weekly series of boring church services, keeping a long list of rules, and trying not to make God too angry by my steady sinning
1993
Fresh Lumber One of the metaphors that is used to describe the Christian experience is pruning. We are considered plants and our sins are wild branches that drain life from our spiritual fruit, so sometimes God comes to prune off the defects in our character. This is a very painful process that leaves you publicly stripped naked, feeling very ugly and exposed
1993
Glass Child When I read a book called Toxic Faith, I was startled to see how much legalistic and fear driven poison had been poured into me from my childhood pastors, teachers and leaders. They filled me up with miserable doctrines, the same ones that their mentors had poured into them from a previous guilt-ridden generation
1993
Grand Canyon Healing When I look around me and talk to people, I am astonished to hear story after story of the awful events that afflicted them from all walks of life. The deep hurts and sorrows of what people have to endure and live with is astonishing, and my limited resources to help them seem very small
1993
Hot Snail I was experiencing so much suffering I was having a very hard time holding on to the truth that "God is Good" when I wrote this. Fortunately now in 2009 I have a much better view about my Creator because I have witnessed and experienced many loving things from His/Her hands over the past 16 years
1993
Human Moon Sorry, this poem is out of order
1993
Invisible Chainsaws I had a friend who liked to engage me in religious debates. I do better writing out my thoughts while he was very skillful verbally, so I would often leave those brutal conversations feeling very angry, vulnerable and distressed
1993
Jigsaw Eugene Sometimes I confuse myself, and I have no idea who I really am. Warning: bad word
1993
Lake Woman When I was in the eighth grade I went on a ten day backpacking trip in the California mountains with an SDA church group. The scenery was beautiful! In order to bathe we had to dunk ourselves into the beautiful lakes ---which were freezing cold! I have discovered since that that just because a woman is beautiful on the outside, her heart towards you can be ice cold, and heaven help the man who wants to go swimming in her frosty spirit
1993
Modern Trinity I didn't like my God very much when I wrote this
1993
Molech I was sexually molested by older neighbor kids when I was a child, so this poem is about that awful experience. Molech was a demon worshiped by pagans in the Bible, whereby children were burned alive as a sacrifice to this vile idol
1993
My Nudist World This is another of my laments that the church demands I live a holy life, which seems like a hopeless task when our American media bombards us with sexual images of the most beautiful women from all over the world
1993
Nervous Light The church continually tells me I need to go out into the world and evangelize, but I suck at it
1993
Pornography Grandma Sorry, this poem is out of order
1993
Prison Guard The Bible warns me to be on guard against temptations, but it is hard to live life where you are always on "full alert." Eventually you get really tired of such heightened states of adrenaline alertness, so you relax for just a moment... and then patient but unrelenting evil strikes!
1993
Razor Roosters This was written when I was going through one of many furious internal battles between the "Me" that loves Jesus and wants to live life exactly as he would do, versus the "Me" that is severely damaged by sin and bristles angrily at keeping anyone's rules
1993
Sack Lunch Jesus Warning: This poem is pretty disgusting
1993
Scalding Dry When I was in college one of jobs was a dishwasher, and we would stack up the dirty dishes in racks and run them through a steel enclosure where scalding hot water would forcefully spray off all the encrusted food and make the dishes sparkling clean. When the cups and plates and bowls came out the other side, they were very clean, but also fiery hot to the touch. When I wrote this poem, it struck me that much of legalistic religion is exactly like this: I do indeed need to have my sins washed off of me, but I know that Jesus has far superior methods to cleanse me than to use the scolding hot words of self-righteous people
1993
Smoke Solutions There are plenty of pithy sayings, platitudes and clichés that are available in abundance, and often given freely to a hurting person, but when you are the one living an enduring a personal hell, such easy words are not very useful or helpful
1993
Snow Suicide The Bible uses the imagery that God will take your "sins like scarlet and make them white as snow." I flipped that imagery on its head to describe what happens when legalism tries to force obedience on people. It may look all "clean and white" on the outside, but as Jesus said to the sour Pharisees "you clean the outside of your cup, but inside you are filled with filthy things"
1993
Stand Up Comedian I had very little respect for the church when I wrote this
1993
Sumo Wrestler God I know that God is big and all powerful, but when I am in the midst of some furious temptation trying to take me down, it seems my prayers for God to intervene always end up being greatly delayed. I know that Biblically God always responds at the right time with the right resolution to exactly what I need, but it sure doesn't feel that way most of the time
1993
Very Special Olympics In 1989 I started attending a weekly prayer meeting with my beloved pastor Steve Daily. Steve is a brilliant man of great accomplishments, and as we would share at each session how our weeks had been, It was very discouraging to see how puny all my spiritual efforts and outputs were in comparison to his. I do find great comfort in Christ's parable of the Talents, because I now can relax knowing that Steve received 5 talents when he was born, whereas I only received 1 or 2. Therefore, God expects far greater output from Steve than what he expects from me
1993
Viking Dance My friend Mike Kinnen wrote a beautiful poem for his marriage, that was filled with gentle and delightful imagery. By contrast most of my poems are filled anger, frustration and pain
1993
Waco Texas Here is another description of one of my many endless inner battles between the good me and the bad me
1994
Boiling Love Marriage is the best happiness in the whole world... and also the greatest hurt. No one is able to hurt you as deeply as an angry and offended spouse
1994
Children of Kuwait Life on this sin-damaged planet is a very dangerous place to live, and not just for children in war zones. This poem expresses how all of us live surrounded by deadly minefields, and most all of us have had pieces of our soul blown off at different periods in our existence
1994
Circling Plane My marriage was in conflict and distress when I wrote this
1994
Monster Garden Poetry is usually associated with flowery language, but most of my poems are birthed from inner anguish and pain
1994
My Corpse Girlfriend Sorry, this poem is out of order
1994
Negative Hands Warning: This poem is filled with enormous hatred and foul language expressed against my violent alcoholic stepfather who terrorized my mother and six brothers from 1969 to 1972
1994
Road of Life Warning: This poem contains some bad words
1994
Scream Sculptures Poetry is usually associated with flowery language, but most of my poems are birthed from inner anguish and pain
1994
1994
Whip Therapy I hate self-righteous Christians who get into your face when they don't approve of your behavior, and they feel it is their personal crusade to force you to obey
1995
Bomb Shelter Love My marriage was in conflict and distress when I wrote this
1995
Fumigate Me My hurting marriage
1995
Wet Fireworks My hurting marriage
1995
Wet Wishes I want to live a life of blissful and passionate romance with my chosen lover, but instead what awaits me in the reality of marriage is soiled baby diapers, dirty laundry, stacked up unwashed dinner dishes, loud arguments, hurt feelings, and critical comments that all work together to aggressively kill innocence and love
2000
Brain Hurricane Pornography promises a visual paradise, but instead it brings a hurricane
2000
Greased Pole Sobriety Sorry, this poem is out of order
2000
Kiss the Coffin I hate funerals --especially when a mass grave is dug for all my deceased and rotting hopes and dreams
2000
Million Funerals There is a huge amount of sadness in this poem
2000
My Personal Pharisee Sorry, this poem is out of order
2000
My Zoloft Savior I suffered for many years with depression, so at my wife's urging, we went to see a marriage counselor and she prescribed I take Zoloft to lift my mood
2000
Sending Not Receiving I desperately want to make a good connection with God, but noisy life sends me so much static I often fail to hear God's loving whispers
2005
Eyes of Joy I was in a very depressed state of mind when I wrote this. Nothing in life looked good or felt good
2005
Barefoot in the City Why does marriage have to be so insanely difficult? Every young person who stands at the altar and says "I do!" hopes and expects to enjoy blissful romance and passion for the rest of their joined lives together. Tragically reality is filled with relentless assaults of problems and stresses that lead to a far crueler future for naive brides and grooms
2005
Bed of Nails My marriage
2005
Box Full of Hate Whenever someone hurts you the immediate thought is one of anger, bitterness and the desire for revenge.
2005
Iraqi Lovers My marriage
2005
Pearl Harbor Woman My marriage
2006
Burn My Feet Off There is an expression "Put someone's feet to the fire" to force them to obey. This poem is about people in the church who have done that to me
2006
Put Me in a Bag Some self-righteous Christians are so determined to make others be obedient to their viewpoint of God's rules and laws that they are very willing to resort to harsh and cruel arguments and methods to force others to become just as miserable and cranky as they are
2006
Wrap Me in Barbed Wire Sorry, this poem is out of order
2007
Dead Soldiers It is very difficult to stay pure when you live in the overt pornographic culture that America has become
2009
Mona Lisa Smile This is written in honor of my delicious new friend, Ann
2009
1/128 Inch Pleasure of Ann The pleasure of my new lover Ann is far superior to the poem that I wrote in 1985 called "1/64 inch Pleasure" Warning: Sensual
2009
Wreckage of Smiles Comparing my two relationships before Ann and after Ann
2009
Salt Lake Ann My wonderful lover is in Salt Lake City for a conference of UUs the week of June 22
2009