In July our vacation in the Northwest included the breathtaking Oregon Coast. Our girls especially enjoyed frolicking around the famous sand dunes, camping at the beaches, the five hour hovercraft trip down the Rouge River and catered meals to our hotel room.
 

We had a few days of high times with the Mercills in Hayfork where Rachel and Christian battled in tennis. We went swimming and the kids slept outside in a tent. It was very hot so we visited our favorite creek with its wonderful tree rope, where one can swing out and plunge into the refreshing emerald water. While wading to a little island in the stream, I heard the children shouting excitedly. "Sharon (our six year old) caught a snake!" Fortunately it was not venomous and she escaped with just a stern lecture and a new pet for the day.
 

I gave her some coaching on stick tactics and we tried it again. Once more I attacked, she faked a swing, I suckered for it, she side-stepped me and bam! I felt a sharp pain on the side of my head from Vanesa’s knobby stick. I was stupefied and bleeding. I felt like one of the bumbling thieves in a Home Alone movie. Before me stood a triumphant eight year old girl with a big stick ready for more. I tried to be a good sport. "O.K. you got me, but that wouldn't stop a man. And NO, we can't try it again." As I limped home I knew the worst was yet to come: my wife’s laughter.
 

After a minor accomplishment my family must endure my proclamation, "They don’t call me The Great One for Nothing!" Once Vanesa replied with the well known rebuttal, "Yeah, you usually have to pay them to do it!" Sharon asked, "How much do you have to pay them, Daddy?" I replied "Oh, five bucks ought to do it. And that reminds me, where’s the five dollars I loaned you at the arcade?" She thought for a moment and asked, "How about I just call you ‘The Great One?’"
 

We enjoy eating at the Baptist College cafeteria where the food is tasty, plentiful and inexpensive. One morning I asked a cafeteria worker why the cereal bins were empty, to which she gave an unusual reply. The previous week one of the students had mixed dried dog food into the Cocoa puffs.
 

Ana does most of the home schooling and also holds a family morning worship. During one of them she introduced the concept "God knows your inner thoughts." After digesting this new information, Rachel expressed what could be described as the universal response, "Dang it."
 

For protection against the long dark night, Sharon sleeps next to her Bible. She likes to "read" it while she waits to be tucked in. "Do you really read it ?" I asked. "No. I just look at the pictures until I get bored." Later, she found a box of Bible stories on cassette and now she listens to those till she dozes off. Her interest in the Bible amazes me.
 

At Disneyland we told our children, "If you get lost, don’t panic, but wait where you are for five minutes. We will find you. If we don’t show up, ask for help to find the place for lost kids." Later Ana overheard Sharon explaining this policy to her cousin Diane. "If we get lost, we don't panic we just wait. Then we panic."
 

In March during the El Nino storms we went on a whale watching expedition with the McCary’s. The sea was stormy and the boat trip was like an amusement park ride. I went below to check on Sharon and found her praying with Diane. Later I asked her what they were praying about. "We were praying the boat wouldn't sink cause Diane doesn't know how to swim."
 

One morning Sharon tearfully related a problem with her older sisters to us. After validating her feelings I said, Go to your room so I can yell at your sisters." Out of concern for them Sharon exhorted me, "Don’t just yell at them! Do like mom does. Start off soft, then get louder, then explode."
 

Towards the end of this year Ana felt obedience was waning, so she really cracked down on slackers (I managed to escape this time). Things got a little tense for a while, so she also introduced a reward system whereby the girls take turns going on special dates with their mom to a location of their choice and with a $30 budget. Rachel chose Mall shopping and they both came back with clothes, full stomachs and a blown budget. Sharon took her mom to her favorite spot, Toys R Us and came back with toys. Vanessa, who embodies the "girls just want to have fun" sentiments, took her mom to a local amusement park and came back with some great thrills and memories, while Ana came back with severe nausea and a bad headache.
 

While I was away breaking the awful news to Rachel and trying to put the best possible spin on it, our visiting friends David and Linda McCary suggested to Sharon and Diane that perhaps the bird wasn't really dead and could be resuscitated. Grieving Sharon responded to their hypothesis by twice throwing the limp bird into the air. When the bird landed with a pathetic thud on the table, she cried, "See, it’s DEAD!" The McCarys told me later they had to bite their lips to keep from laughing. For the rest of us, the evening was no laughing matter. Fortunately, Rachel bravely forgave and affirmed Sharon and together we all performed a moving burial service complete with prayer, testimonials and a stone marker.
 

Suddenly sparks started flying and hissing like the fourth of July. The sparks turned to large yellow flames, and then the entire dip stick turned bright orange right down to the engine’s oil. It was Chernobyl unfolding before our very eyes! Ana was monitoring this phenomena from inside the car and screamed "Out! Out!" As she scrambled over Linda and bolted for the door. As I moved to the car to get a towel, the man pumping gas next to us ran for dear life, and Dave heroically swatted at the dip stick, sending it flying twenty feet to the pavement. Fortunately no one was hurt and no property destroyed. Dave and I escaped with just having to endure the usual verbal abuse from our wives (mostly parallels taken from the movie Dumb and Dumber)
 

After losing an expensive dog, bird, rabbits and two Chinchillas, we have now downgraded our pets to despicable insects -- that way there is no sense of loss when they perish. At Vanesa’s request, I captured a Black widow and its egg sack. We witnessed the birth of an army of tiny black widows, which I genocided. As an experiment, Vanessa caught a wasp and put it into the jar. It was no contest for the deadly black widow, which struck quickly and soon had the wasp tightly wrapped for dinner. Next Vanesa put in a small grasshopper. It seemed like an unfair match, but once inside the grasshopper jumped so vigorously it bludgeoned the surprised spider to death in just a few minutes.
 

At a poker table we met Perry, a colorful, professional gambler, and we hung with him for about 10 hours. He showed us the ropes at various games and coached us both to win $500 in just a few hours of Blackjack. We would have won more had Perry not taken breaks to draw female portraits on napkins (another of his talents). The next day Mike introduced me to one of his joys, Frisbee Golf, and I introduced him to the agony of defeat.
 

I go to Denver a few times a year to mix business with the pleasure of visiting my friends Dennis and Ria Furr, who are like family to me. I was asleep in the top bunk of their daughter’s room when I was awakened again and again by an electronic toy, a beeping Giga pet. Finally I climbed down from the bunk, waited for it to beep, rifled through the desk to find the hidden little pest, removed it, and went back to sleep. But later I was again awakened by that annoying beep. She had a whole litter of Gigas!
 

This December Rachel and Vanesa played in their first tennis tournament. Vanesa came in first and Rachel second in their age groups. Watching another match, Rachel observed a young teenage Linesman and declared "How come I didn’t get a cute Linesman?"
 

So I paused long enough for him to see I was giving his offer serious consideration, and said, "Not really. You’re just not worth it." A few minutes later I was about to pull out when I looked in my side mirror and saw him coming towards me. I turned off my engine and was about to get out when he spoke. "You were right. I did drive badly, and you were right not to fight about it. I’m sorry." I was stunned. He floored me with his words.
 

"You don't recognize me?" I said. As he studied me his countenance changed from apathy to despair. "I remember you. I stole your truck and sold it to buy drugs." "Do you realize how badly I could hurt you right now?" I said, baiting him. He paused and then humbly replied, "You can beat me up if you want to." My thoughts for revenge melted before this broken man and were replaced by feelings of compassion "Well, the truth is, that truck was a pain and your stealing it proved to be a financial blessing to me. Come inside; I'll buy you a meal." And the proverb was fulfilled, "A man’s mouth delivers him out of trouble."
 

Favorite movie was Parent Trap, which made me tearful. Favorite books were Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.