Greetings from the Reibsteins,What a looooong year 2002 was! Was it just me or did anyone else feel like Christmas would never get here? Rachel turned 15 on September 3, Vanesa 13 on May 7, and Sharon 11 on October 13. Here are some stories to share with you --but first the awards for 2002. 
 

Most Likely To Awards

Most likely to take an MBA program
Ana, one or two classes at a time

Most likely to take classes without grades
Me, in Landmark Education, An education  for the rest of your life. Steve Wilson got me in.

Most likely to get A’s on her report card
Ana and Rachel, it’s important to them

Most likely to... see Lord of the Rings
Vanesa (at least 5 times)
 

Most likely to win a tennis tournament
Vanesa (3)

Most likely to stop home schooling
All three daughters

Most likely to tell boys she can’t date until she’s 16
Rachel

Most likely to go on a date at age 14
Rachel

Most likely to go on a date with Rachel
Ana as the unwanted chaperone
 

Most likely to wear an orange shirt
Terry

Most likely to discard Orange shirt
Terry, after Ana said, “You look like a Caltrans worker.”

Most likely to wash dishes
Me, It’s a nasty job, but no man has ever been shot by his wife while   doing the dishes.
 

Bar Bully

We disconnected our T.V. two years ago, so whenever I need to watch a big sporting event, I go to a bar or a friend’s house. On the Saturday night of the Australian Open, I found myself perched at a packed bar eating a burger and looking up at a T.V. screen. The place was packed and there was no elbowroom at all, and to make matters worse, this jerk sits next to me and deliberately jammed his elbow into my shoulder. I acted like I wasn’t bothered at first, but a minute later he did it once more. I just stared at the T.V., but I was getting irritated and started considering my options if he did it again. Well he did, and it was no mistake. I thought before I knock him off his stool, I should at least look at his face, so I turned and saw the profile of my good friend Steve Wilson. He had called my wife to find me, and was playing a prank.
 

The Dog Charmer

On Monday nights this past year, I spent two and a half hours teaching tennis to Jeff Cohen and his adorable little girls, eight-year-old Marissa and six year old Jessica. After tennis, Jeff and I often play Backgammon and his daughters love to watch. On one occasion Marissa was standing next to me while I stroked the head of their Labrador and he began to lick my face affectionately. "Aww, he's giving me sweet dog kisses!"  I exclaimed. Marisa watched patiently then whispered her secret in my ear, "He licks his butt."
 

Prince Charming

I'll never forget the evening Rudolph Valentino (Dev) showed up to take Rachel out. Rachel was 14 and could not date, and Dev had no license, so Vanesa and my wife Ana went too. Though not quite 16, Dev was an engaging and witty conversationalist and knowledgeable in many areas. At the Olive Garden restaurant he charmed my wife, daughters and the servers and bought me a bottle of my favorite salad dressing. He delighted us all and was even able to break down Ana's invincible protective shield. Afterwards we were all singing his praises and hopping he would return soon. In a cruel twist of fate, while we were all falling head over heels for Dev, Rachel began cooling off. We have not seen Dev since and we are all hurt and we really miss him.
 

Fright Night

One night at bedtime when I was away, Ana went through the trauma of looking for Sharon and not finding her. They searched the house and went outside and called loudly for Sharon, but there was no reply. After minutes of searching, their concerns turned into panic. Ana was ready to call the police but decided to check more thoroughly inside the house to rule out any "Sharon's shenanigans." So it was they found Sharon asleep under the bed where Rachel and Vanesa sleep. Sharon got the notion to hide and scare her sisters at bedtime, but fell fast asleep while waiting.
 

Terrorist Ants Attack

The ants came marching one by one and swarmed into the kitchen like a plague. They completely took over the Honey Nut Cheerios and anything they fancied. Ana was at work, the kids were in school; I alone was left to stop them. There was a mighty victory for mankind and order was again restored in the universe. Not only were they routed in the kitchen, but in their caves and hideouts in the back yard. I won't burden you with the gruesome details, but it involved a gas can and a match. 
 

High School Scandal

At Rachel's school of freshman and sophomores, there is one surfer dude who cares not about popular opinion. To prove it, one day in class he walked over to where the cute popular girls gathered, cried, "Earthquake!" and ventilated his backside with extreme prejudice. The poor girls were thunderstruck and outraged by this desecration of social protocol. Although stunned and humiliated, the girls quickly responded by spraying the air with perfume and scolding their attacker. The teacher gave them permission to leave their desks to "compose themselves."  

Most of the class laughed heartily as they did not like the girl's superior attitudes. Eventually the girls returned to class and glared at "the dude" who had made them the victims of a prank that was sure to spread with gusto throughout the school. Just before class was dismissed, "the dude" walked over to the girls and said, "Aftershock!" and nuked them again. This was too much for the Westview Valley girls and this time they left class for good.
 

The Beanie Baby Disaster

I shall not forget the night I saw personal tragedy in Sharon's life. Vanesa has a talent for creating imaginary stories acted out using beanie babies and they can play for hours. For Sharon this is fullness of joy and she even agrees to be Vanesa's servant for the chance to play Beanie Babies later and considers it a bargain.  One night Sharon went for her collection of Beanie babies in the garage and to her horror, she discovered rats had gotten into the stash and eaten through to the stuffing.  

The Beanies were maimed and disfigured and when Sharon picked them up, white pellets gushed out. She had just read The Secret of NIMH, so she was devastated that all her fantasies about the wise rats from NIMH were dashed to pieces.
 

Hawaiian Vacation Highs

The highlight of the summer was our two weeks in Hawaii. What we liked best was the North Shore, eating Mosimotos shaved Ice, hanging out and playing cards with local friends the Currys and dinner with the Shimuzus. Vanesa and Sharon loved snorkeling all over and surfing in Waikiki.
 

Hawaiian Low

We visited Pearl Harbor and the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial, but while the rest of the family did the tour,I had to solve the puzzle of what to do when you lock the keys inside the rental car with the engine running.
 

The Living Daylights
 

Ana’s friend Gerald Curry graciously offered to fly us around the island of Oahu in a private plane. Vanessa and Ana slept in, but Rachel, Sharon and I seized the moment. When Rachel declined to be the co-pilot, Sharon eagerly volunteered. Near a mountain range we experienced some turbulence that made Rachel and I a bit more than just uncomfortable. To make matters worse, Gerald turned sole control of the craft into Sharon’s ten-year old hands while he relaxed in his seat. He may have known what he was doing, but each time the plane lurched and we saw Sharon at the wheel, it scared the living daylights out of Rachel and I.
 

Warning From Sharon

We bought a racquet stringer for Vanesa but she soon lost interest, so Sharon took over. I pay her $10 per job, which takes her thirty minutes. Whenever she left a job unfinished which I completed, I deducted a portion from her pay-out. Sharon resented my policy so now when she leaves a racquet unfinished she places an envelope on the racquet which reads: "Don't string the racquet because you won't get any benefits, because I started it and I want to finish it."
 

Toxic Dude

Ana and Rachel were Christmas shopping when Ana's bladder required immediate relief. When she got to the store’s one bathroom, it was locked. She fidgeted outside until the door opened and a young man in his early twenties appeared and warned her. "Don't go in there for at least five minutes. I am serious!" Ana laughed but she felt she could hold her breath so she stepped inside, while he lingered to see what would become of her. Once inside Ana said she experienced “smells so vile they were not of this world." She almost heaved but instead she screamed so loudly she drew the attention of everyone in the store. The manager rushed back to see what was wrong and she almost heaved too. "What did you eat?" Rachel demanded. The embarrassed young man apologized sincerely while Ana ran in search of another bathroom. Immediately an Out of Order sign was placed on the bathroom door to avoid any litigation.
 

Return of the Jedi Ants

My victory was only temporary. The ants came back with all their cousins and took over the cold cereal again. This time I used a sponge to route them, but instead of throwing out the ant-infested cereal, I dumped the contents into a large clear container. The next morning I showed off my ant farm to the kids but they were grossed out. To teach them some valuable survival lessons I poured myself a bowl of ant-infested Cheerios and ate the little rascals. While they gagged I smiled and said cheerily, "More protein!"
 

The Powatian Pranksters

Last summer all three daughters attended The Ed Collins Tennis Camp in Pt. Loma overlooking the ocean. Many of their male tennis friends from Poway (the Powatians ) also attended. The Powatians are a mischievous lot and love to invent pranks to play on Vanesa. One such prank involved Powatians hiding in various places in Rachel and Vanesa's dorm room. They recruited shy Alex from Del Mar to join them but after a long fruitless wait for the girls to return, the Powatians left their hiding places in search of other mischief. Unfortunately Alex did not speak Powatian and didn't get the signal to leave. Vanesa finally did return, and found him hiding in her closet. “What are you doing here?” she demanded. Poor Alex was embarrassed, and so it was Alex who became the victim of the Powatian pranksters.
 

Movie Recommendations

"The Count of Monte Cristo" and "Catch Me if You Can" were worthy.