Do you have references from maniacal terrorists you've worked for?

Mind signing for exploding packages?

Are you okay with some light typing and filing?

List the schools where you received your fanatical, hate-filled education

Do you mind being drugged, knocked out, blindfolded and driven 200 miles to and from work every day?

Please provide three references for the authenticity of your beard.

Will you contribute to the 401(K) even though there's not a chance in heck you'll see 65?

May we pay you in sand?

You're not taking this job so you can kill Osama and get the $25 million, are you?

Can you make balloon animals? Osama loves balloon animals