Asks for Sundays off

Goodbye whistle, hello pliers

You catch him doing something very, very bad to the Gatorade

The opening coin toss is best of 17

Instead of using instant replay, makes players do the same thing again, but slower

Resume includes the letters XFL

Personally checks each player to make sure they're wearing a cup

Tells team, I want a good, clean game that the Buccaneers win by over 5 1/2

When blimp flies over stadium screams, Martians is coming

All his hand signals seem to require his middle finger.