Hi, is this the chopstick hotline?

Okay, I removed the cap -- now what?

Can I use it to highlight passages in books?

Is it safe for my kitty's lips?

Is it true that the Chinese use these instead of forks?

I like to dress the tubes in tiny little clothes I make. Is this illegal?

Is it available in a spray?

I wrote a 22-page poem about Chap Stick. Where do I send it?

I lost my Chap Stick -- did anyone turn it in?

Is Wilford Brimley dead?