The funny red nose comes from 50 years of Jack Daniels

 He can't find orthopedic shoes in a size 36

 A pie in the face is embarrassing but a handful of hard candy in the face hurts like hell

 Most impressive trick: breaking a hip

 Makes shapes with balloons to demonstrate what's wrong with his prostate

 Sad seeing 30 clowns packed in a VW going 25 on the interstate

 Trademark big red shoes are now attached to his walker

 Seltzer bottle sprays Metamucil

 She hosts an Academy Awards fashion show on E! with her daughter, Melissa

His catchphrase: Hey kids, what time is it?...And where am I?