Wants to spend more time with his goat

Unflattering courtroom sketches make him look chunky

Got a part in the hit reality show "Mustaching With The Stars"

Just named partner at the law firm Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad, and Weintraub

Lost faith in everything after finding out Oprah's book club is rigged

Courtroom reeks of beard dye and curry

Finally got clearence to open Iraq's first Jack in the Box franchise

I don't know, the daily death threats?

Conflict of interest -- he also enjoys eating Doritos underneath his judicial robes

Tired of Saddam calling him a "Godless, son-of-a-whore"