Saved. Lost. Saved. Lost. Saved. Lost. That's the kind of church that I grew up in. If I sinned, I was lost. If I  repented, I was saved again. If I sinned again, I was lost again. Lost. Saved. Lost. Saved. Lost. Saved. If however I should die between sinning and repenting, well, I was  doomed to hell! No excuses, no second chances! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Then I left that church and joined another, which taught me that I was Always Saved! Once Jesus moved into my heart at salvation, I could lie frequently, cheat cleverly, steal constantly and fornicate heartily. I was saved, saved, saved! I might go to jail, but I didn't go to Hell!

I did not like the Saved-Lost doctrine, but I liked the Always-Saved doctrine very much. As a Saved-Lost Christian, I could lose my ticket to Heaven just by looking at a Playboy magazine, and to BUY a Playboy -- you might just as well have your forehead branded with the words "Send directly to Hell." I was even taught that if I didn't spend at least an hour reading my Bible every day, then I would probably backslide into Hell from failing to exercise daily self-discipline.

Being a Saved-Lost Christian was a miserable experience, filled with guilt, doubt and constant condemnation. Becoming an Always-Saved Christian at first seemed absolutely wonderful, but it also proved to be fraught with danger.  I liked the assurance of knowing that I was eternally saved, but what happened is I liked it too much! I stopped fighting the "good fight of faith," and allowed my sin nature to take over. And take over it did.

My Always-Saved experience was a different kind of hell, the hell of unrestrained sin. After being scorched and almost consumed in my unrestrained passions, I found wisdom, and then I became: TOTALLY SAVED!

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